What a Friend We Have in Jesus

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another. John 15:9-16

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Last Sunday everyone was surprised to see an old car pull into the parking lot just as worship was about to begin. And when three tired looking scraggly young men exited and headed toward the church several people on the welcoming committee fairly ran to greet them. Two were easily recognizable. Chris and Syd had been pretty involved with the congregation last summer, and they had brought along their friend, Niles. He’d heard about last year’s VBS and want to join the fun. Together they’d be helping Janice Porter’s youth choir to learn some new songs. Chris and Niles had their guitars and Syd was carrying some percussion instruments he wanted to teach the kids to play. Everyone was glad to see them.

They didn’t go into the sanctuary at all but went over to the Sunday School area to set up and get ready for the procession of children who would come after the first part of the liturgy. They would be a surprise for the kids, and Janice was expecting the children would be thrilled. Which they were! The rehearsel time passed quickly and the children were reluctant to go back into the worship service for Holy Communion, but Syd told them he wanted to commune too, and when they heard that, they gladly returned.

Chris and Niles were surprised when Syd told the children he wanted to stay. They’d expected that they would just leave when the practice was over. But Syd’s faith has escalated in the last few months and he’d actually been thinking of finding a place where he could worship regularly. He likes the informality of Lacey’s Thursday night gatherings but a part of him has been yearning for what he called the “old school” feeling of Holy Communion. So Chris and Niles went back too–Niles had actually grown up in a Lutheran congregation in California, but like many confirmands he’d also “grown out” of that congregation. 

After the service during the fellowship time the young men stayed for some goodies and drinks. People were glad to interact, and of course some of the kids hung around them too. They were particularly attracted to Syd. Pastor Baldridge, who was observing all this, took note and suspected it might have something to do with his drummer demeanor. He laughed easily and the kids related to him as they would to one of their peers. Pastor Baldridge remembered the difficulty they’d had in getting the volunteer background check done on Syd the year before. This year his rap sheet would show prison time yet he suspected no one would be bothered in the least by his involvement with the children. A lot had happened, not everything good, but it had all worked out to Syd’s benefit.

On Monday morning at the staff meeting there was a lot of conversation about what had happened on Sunday. Jennie Craster wondered if there had been any more conversation about having a new worship style incorporated into the Sunday morning experience. She said, “Maybe this fall we could have two worship services, one traditional and one more experimental. I think we have enough people worshiping now to support that.”

No one said no to the suggestion, but Janice Porter indicated that this move would involve a lot of work, and it might syphon some of her singers away from the traditional service. She’s been working really hard to build up the numbers and she’s only been able recently to increase the complexity of the choir anthems. She said, “Just wait until you hear the one we’re doing for Mother’s Day. Just nine months ago I wouldn’t have even dared try it. It’s going to be beautiful!”

Lacey added that Chris had said nothing about a change in attitude on his part. She’d asked last summer about him doing more worship leadership at Crown and Cactus, and he’d considered it, and then turned her down. He didn’t feel that his style of music would work with people used to more traditional liturgies. She said, “I think they’re open to periodic involvement, like what we’re doing with the kids on this Sunday. But I don’t think they’re up for anything more than that.”

Brad Zeiner has been thinking all week about Lacey’s suggestion that he write a nice mushy card to his Mom for Mother’s Day. He didn’t like being reminded, but at the same time he knew she was right–that’s one of the funny things about wives–and for Brad it’s happening frequently. This time rather than getting defensive about it, he decided to go the extra mile. He called up his mother and invited her to lunch with him at La Madeleine’s, and they met there about 11:30 last Friday. 

Marge, his mom, was thrilled to be invited out by her son–and even more delighted that in honor of Mother’s Day, he was going to pay. She can’t remember that ever happening before. At first Brad was feeling nervous–it wasn’t necessarily a place he’d ever eat at–and he’d never before sat across the table from his mom in a restaurant for casual conversation. They talked about a number of things: the youth group, Lacey’s new job, his dad’s impending retirement, and Marge’s volunteer work at the Mesa Center for the Arts. They even talked about the recent football draft and Brad’s take on the Cardinal’s chances. Brad was surprised. He didn’t realize his mom knew so much about things that he was actually interested in. He’d never ever talked with her like this before. He even talked about his relationship with Lacey and how much he loved her. Before he realized it, the lunch had stretched into two hours–and the conversation hadn’t been hard at all.

Finally he said, “Mom, I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you. I know that I was a problem son and I did a lot of things that hurt you. I’ll always feel bad that I blew through that school money Grandpa set aside for me. I only earned one credit in two years. And then there was all the stuff with drugs. But even when I thought you’d given up on me, you really hadn’t–and when things turned around you never said, ‘I told you so.’ I don’t know if dad will ever come around, but you never went away…” And big tears rolled unbidden out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

Marge reached out her hands and grasped his. She said, eyes glistening, “Brad, I’ve always loved and I always will. And I’m so proud of you! I know that I spent a lot of years trying to get you to do what I wanted–you were so stubborn–but somewhere along the way I feel like things changed. And in these last months I’ve actually begun to feel less like your parent and more like your friend. And I like that feeling–and I’d love it if you felt that way too.” 

Brad wiped away his tears. Wow, his mom was asking him to be her friend! He’d never even thought of that as a possibility. He knew that this was the way it was between Lacey and her mom–actually they were more like sisters than friends–but he’d never thought of that as being a possibility for him. He thought a bit before saying with a smile, “I guess I could…though I don’t think you could ever be Marge–you’re always going to be Mom!”

As they parted Marge gave her new friend a big hug and said, “This has been the best Mother’s Day gift any woman could have. I’d love to do it again. How about next month we go to one of those places you and Lacey have found in Tempe? And this time I’m buying.” All Brad could do was nod and giggle.

Later that evening he was talking about his experience with Lacey. As was her practice she listened intently, drawing him out with questions, all the while with a huge smile on her face. Then she said, “This is so cool. This is what I’ve been thinking about all week as I’ve worked with the text for Sunday in John. Jesus did exactly the same thing with his disciples as your mom did with you. He told them that from this point they were no longer his servants. But because they now had learned all the things he had to teach them, they were going to be his friends. They were going to be friends who loved as he loved and who walked in his way. Sometimes that’s how I’ve come to think of Jesus too. I know he’s my Lord, and always will be, but I also want to think of him as a friend, one who laid down his life for me.” 

Brad marveled at how Lacey could wrestle with a text and come up with such gems. That’s what made her such a great teacher. He’d have to think about his for a while. He’d never thought of Jesus in such terms before–but he guessed that Lacey was right. If his mom could be his friend, then certainly Jesus could be too! 

That’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are faithful, the women are committed, and the children are all growing in grace.

Getting Pruned and Going Wild

”I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.” John 15:1-8

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. With the approach of 100 degree temperatures the last of the snowbirds have departed and the folks who have summer homes in Flagstaff, Payson, or the Rim are getting restless. Stubborn snowfalls have persisted though, and some are reluctant to get up there and be cold. Nonetheless, many have said their good-byes and are likely to be seen only occasionally through the summer months. Still, since the families with children are still around, the program at Crown and Cactus continues without much change. In fact Stacey Thorson started working on VBS plans right after Easter and she already has started weekly promotions. 

On Monday morning at the staff meeting, Pastor Baldridge, who had been enjoying the routine of the Easter season, was jolted back into reality by Janice Porter, who asked if they would be doing anything different for Mother’s Day this year, and if they were, she’d like to know the plan. He smiled, while stifling a groan, and said that he hadn’t given it a lot of thought, and wondered if she had any ideas. He’s always had mixed feelings about Mother’s Day and some years has resented having to adjust the congregation’s worship planning to fit cultural expectations. Of course he can’t ever say anything about this–it would never do to give the impression that the pastor was not supportive of mothers. 

Janice had a number of ideas. Last year Stacey had given her a DVD with songs the children would be learning at VBS and she’d gotten a small children’s choir together to sing a couple of those songs at worship on Mother’s Day. This year, with Stacey’s encouragement, she’s asked her daughter, Lacey, to see if Chris and Syd might come back to help out. They’d really been well received at VBS last summer and it seems like an opportunity too good to pass up. 

Pastor Baldridge was a little put out that they’d already started working on this plan without asking for his input, but he’s even more glad that they do things on their own without waiting for his permission. He turned to Lacey to see if she’d talked to Chris about this. As it turned out she had asked him and Syd about it a couple of weeks ago at their Thursday gathering. They’d shown some initial interest–the experience they’d had last year was their introduction to Crown and Cactus, and both agreed that it had been life-changing. But they also know that wonderful events are hard to replicate, and they had some fears about being disappointed. So they’re going to let her know this Thursday. Janice and Stacey already knew this, but they’re going to do the same thing–if Syd and Chris come on board, it’ll be wonderful, but they both believe they can get the kid’s choir together on their own. 

So they’re pretty much set for Mother’s Day. They’ll use the Sunday School time the next two weeks for rehearsals and be ready to go on the 12th. Again Janice has picked a special anthem for the adult choir to sing too. Now that she has more voices she’s picked a more complicated contemporary choral arrangement based on John 17. It’s upbeat and she knows the people will like it. 

Some time was spent in discussing details related to the fellowship time after worship and whether there should be a special recognition of mothers, but it was generally felt that the additional music would be enough. Pastor Baldridge assured them that he would make reference to mothers in the sermon and in the prayers–and they’re pretty confident that he’ll do that in a tasteful and inoffensive way.

Lacey had these things on her mind on Thursday when she and Brad headed to downtown Tempe. They’d gotten in the habit of eating at different places each week and trying to make contact with managers and owners of restaurants. Lacey knows that the people who have become her congregation are not universally welcomed by business owners on Mill Avenue, and she wants to at least be aware of concerns.

They got over to the Sun Devil Bar about 7:00 and had some time to visit with the manager. He’s been so helpful in giving them designated space for their meeting in a back room, and has no difficulty with them spilling out into the patio area. Lacey gives him a couple hundred dollars a week for the space out of the special account Carl Shurz has set up for her miscellaneous expenses. Carl has actually been quite generous in his allocation–he likes Lacey and thinks she’s doing important work.

This week Lacey had arranged with Syd to lead a study of John 17 as part of the group’s time together. Syd has been studying the bible pretty intently for the last months and has impressed the librarians at the Tempe Library with his dedication. He’s there at least a couple of times a week and has a special spot where he can do his research and reading. When Syd got there Lacey could tell that he was nervous and she did all she could to calm him. As people arrived, most of the regulars, and as usual, some new folks, Lacey gave everyone a personal greeting while everyone settled in. Chris and Niles led some singing, and when all was ready Lacey introduced Syd. She said, “Syd has been studying the bible for many months now and he has a way of seeing new things in the texts that are assigned for the different Sundays. I’ve asked him to share some of his insights tonight on John 15.”

There was a bit of a buzz and some good natured hazing as Syd stood before the group. He’d done some performing in the past, but being a drummer hadn’t really prepared him for the nervousness he felt now. At first he spoke so fast and softly people couldn’t hear what he was saying, and there were a lot of “ums” and hesitations. When he saw Lacey mouthing the word “slower” and smiling, he found his pace and his tone.

After reading the brief text that had started with Jesus saying, “I am the vine, and you are the branches,” Syd talked about how scary this passage had been for him. He didn’t like the part where Jesus had said that any branches that do not bear fruit will be cut off and thrown into a fire. It sounded like a threat, and he didn’t really care for a Jesus who threatened people. But then he had come to see that Jesus wasn’t threatening anyone–he was simply telling the truth. And he wasn’t really talking about our salvation–that’s a gift from God, and nothing can take that away from us.

Then Syd said, “But he is talking about our lives in this world, and Jesus was all about bearing fruit. He believed that the Holy Spirit has gifted every person and equipped them to produce love, joy, and peace.” Syd paused and then continued, “In this passage he’s saying that for grape vines to be productive they have to be pruned.” He went on, “One year when I was out wandering I got a job in a vineyard in Northern California and I worked with some of the pruners, mostly carrying away branches. Some of the branches looked healthy, but the pruners knew exactly how much to take away. I asked once what would happen if they stopped pruning. The guy just laughed and said, ‘They’d go wild. All the nutrients would go into making more branches and leaves, and the grapes would just shrivel up.’”

Syd said, “I’ve thought a lot about that and my similarities to a grapevine. Like many of you I had parents who believed it was their job to trim me back, to prune me, and not let me run wild. Now I’m not a grapevine and I’m not planted so I just left home rather than submit to the pruning. I didn’t know that’s what I was doing then…I just wanted to have a good time. And what happened? I ran wild! I did exactly what I pleased and until a couple of months ago, I wasted my life.”

Lacey could see some of the youth who were listening begin to nod. They knew where Syd was coming from–not all had the same story–some had been horribly abused and kicked out by their parents. But others had simply been resistant to pruning, and went off on their own to “do their own thing,”

When Syd had finished with some comments about his more recent experiences with pruning, and the benefits that had come his way, Lacey engaged the whole group in conversation. She encouraged them to talk with each other about what it was like to submit to pruning and what it was like to run wild. As they talked she saw some tears and shrugs–some got it and others didn’t. And it’s very hard for a young person to understand that the discipline of their parents had been for good, and not for evil. For most it’s a slow-arriving insight!

As they left for the night about 11:30 Lacey sought out Syd to thank him for his talk. He was embarrassed and didn’t think he had done well. He said, “I felt in my heart what I wanted to say but all the words that I chose didn’t come close to expressing what I felt. I wonder if your Pastor Baldridge ever feels that way.”

Lacey laughed out loud and said, “My goodness, yes! He once told me he felt that way every Sunday.”

Syd did say that he and Chris had talked and that they would be willing to work with her mom on the songs for Mother’s Day, and when Niles had heard them talking about their VBS experience last year, he’d asked to be included.

Lacey was thrilled. She knew that Stacey would be ecstatic. As they drove home she and Brad talked about what Syd had said. Brad could really identify. Syd’s story was almost exactly like his own. For years he’d had no appreciation for his parents whatsoever. Now he understands what they were trying to do. Lacey said, “I think that would be a good thing for you to write in your Mother’s Day card.”

To which he said, “Humpff!” He still doesn’t appreciate the pruner’s shears, even when the pruner is his wife.

And that’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are faithful, the women are committed, and the children are all growing in grace.

Good Shepherds

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away—and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father.” John 10:11-18

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Almost all of the folks who come down to the Valley during the winter months are now at home in the northern states, and many are thinking that they may have left a little early, particularly when they check temperatures and realize that the hot weather has been slow in arriving this spring. But no matter how much they like it here, there’s no place like home for them, and they rather enjoy the feel of an April snowstorm. At any rate the numbers at worship have declined a bit, particularly in comparison to the pre-Easter Sundays when the numbers were inflated by the Cub fans who had discovered Crown and Cactus and who had made it their home during spring training.

Milo and Evelyn Durkee have not gone back to Oregon yet and they’re thinking that maybe they won’t. They had become connected to the congregation a year ago at Easter when Milo had been so overwhelmed in his experience of Jesus in Holy Communion–Eve says that it was like he had been born again. Now they did go back to their summer place near Bandon Dunes last year, but this year Milo is dragging his feet. They still might go back in August, but for now they’re here. In fact they hosted a Masters watch party last Sunday afternoon at their home on the Lakes Nine at Oakwood in Sun Lakes. 

It was quite a gathering. Milo had invited his neighbors and a number of people came from Crown and Cactus. There were a couple of viewing areas, one inside with the big screen, and a smaller tv mounted in a pergola adjacent to the patio in the backyard. Their home is a short distance from one of the greens on the course, and when people tired of watching golf in Augusta they could watch the not-nearly-so-skilled pretenders in real time. Eve had prepared quite a spread of golf snacks including the traditional pimento cheese sandwiches that are a Masters staple. And of course there was cheap beer in plastic cups!

People milled about snacking, watching, talking, and taking part in putting contests on Milo’s top-of-the-art artificial grass putting green. It was a fun afternoon. Pastor Baldridge had been invited and had come with Helga, not to watch golf, but to engage with people from the congregation in a relaxed setting. Later in the afternoon when Scheffler had pretty much wrapped up the tournament he found himself sitting with Milo near a small fountain in the corner of the yard. Milo told him that it was his favorite spot for meditation. He said, “As you know, Eve and I started coming to the meditation classes last fall and it has really changed my life. Prisha has such a calm and peaceful spirit and I’ve learned so much from her example and from hearing the stories of others in the group.”

Pastor Baldridge had known that the Durkee’s were involved–they’d been there on the occasions that he had dropped in. He asked Milo to describe his experience. Milo was more than willing and said with a smile, “Not surprisingly it’s connected a bit with golf. When we started I chose the 23rd Psalm as my meditation passage. It was about the only bible verse I was even familiar with and I thought I could memorize it pretty easily. As it turned out it was right, and I got the words down pretty quickly. And then as I began to meditate on it, repeating it over and over, I found myself being pulled into the passage. I saw Jesus coming to the gate over there, calling my name, and leading me out on the course, through green pastures and alongside still waters. I saw and felt everything: the paths of righteousness, the dark shadows, a feasting table where even my enemies were present, being anointed with oil, my cup overflowing. And through it all Jesus was walking with me. I even imagined goodness and mercy as fellow companions on the journey, and then we’d come back here. He’d open the gate, give me a hug, and life would be so, so good. I couldn’t wait to do it again the next morning.”

A couple of other men were listening as Milo told his story, and one of them said, “Very interesting, but the important question is: Has this improved your golf?”

Milo laughed and said, “Not as far as the score is concerned, but my attitude has done a 180. Bad swings used to frustrate me and penalty areas got me to throwing clubs. But now I’m seeing that golf is really about life, and all the frustrating things are just part of the game. If you play, every round some ugly stuff will happen–just like it does in life. Those things make the good shots all the sweeter.”

The Baldridge’s left the party about 4:00 and all the way home Kevin thought about Milo’s story. He was wondering if he couldn’t somehow adapt it for next Sunday’s sermon, without the golf part of course. He’d certainly mess it up if he tried to use golf metaphors, but the shepherding part was intriguing, especially the part about sitting at table with enemies.

On Tuesday in the afternoon he got a call from Letitia Brown. She was sobbing, but not because something awful had happened. These were tears of joy and thanksgiving. She had just gotten the mail and there were two cards, one for her, and one for Sarah. Pastor Baldridge smiled. He had written them and Leah had mailed them last week, and evidently they’d finally gotten the timing down. The cards had arrived on exactly the right day. A year ago, after Sarah and Letitia’s baptisms on the 16th, there had been a conversation about baptism reminders, and the staff had decided to send out a baptismal anniversary card to every member of the congregation, and he had volunteered to write a pastoral message in each one. He’d done it every week since, and the response had been overwhelmingly favorable. It was one of the most gratifying things he has ever done in his pastoral ministry.

Letitia was having a hard time describing her feelings at having received the card. She said, “I opened Sarah’s first, and started crying with the first words, ‘Happy First Baptismday, Sarah!’ I read it to her, and she got a big smile on her face, and grabbed it from my hands. Your words were perfect, all about grace and love. And then I opened mine, now knowing what it was. I’d been having a bad day, certainly not remembering my baptism, and what joy it brought to read your words of affirmation. You made me feel incredibly special, as though Jesus had written me a love note. How did you know what to say?”

Pastor Baldridge felt tears welling up in his own eyes as he listened to Letitica’s words. This was exactly the kind of reaction that he had hoped people would have to receiving their baptismal cards. Of course he knew that most wouldn’t react in exactly the same way. For Letiticia it was fresh and new. Still, even long-time believers had told him they had liked the cards. He talked with her for quite a while, finding out how life was going, and asking about the young mother’s group she was leading through the Chandler YMCA. When the call was over he sat for a long while in his office. He felt so good!

This was what he had dreamed of when he had felt the call to go to seminary and become a pastor. It was the word itself that had drawn him in–pastor comes from the Latin word for shepherd, and that had come to define how he felt about his office and role. While he certainly didn’t think of himself as Jesus, he did understand that he had a shepherding role in the congregation. And to the best of his ability that is what he had done. He wasn’t the best preacher or teacher, and theology had never been his strong suit, but he did enjoy being with people in the different circumstances of life. Being a pastor meant he got to share in all the lows and highs of daily living–and it turns out he was really good at being present to people in their joys and sorrows. If he had brought affirmation to Letitia, it wasn’t even close to the affirmation that she had given him with her phone call.

After a bit, he got up and drove home. Helga was waiting to go to Tacos Calafia for their Taco Tuesday special–they’d been doing this for years and she picked out a different place every week. This was one of her favorites. It was a great chance to relax, a part of their routine that they relished. And it was a time when she shepherded him! Tonight though, she wouldn’t need to lift him up–Letitia had done that, and he couldn’t wait to tell her all about it.

And that’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are faithful, the women are committed, and the children are all growing in grace.

Remembering the Story

While they were talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He said to them, “Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. While in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate in their presence. Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you—that everything written about me in the law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms must be fulfilled.” Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, and he said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. Luke 24:36-48b

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Last Sunday after Pastor Bladridge had preached what he thought was a wonderful sermon about Believing Thomas, Mel Falstaff had come up to him during the fellowship time with a wry smile on his face. He said, “Thanks, Pastor, I have a feeling that your sermon might have been fed by some of my comments at lupper on Easter afternoon. I liked it that you focused on believing rather than doubting, and judging from what I’ve been hearing in conversations just now, I think others felt the same way.”

Pastor Baldridge gave Mel a hug and said, “You’re absolutely right. While I’ve always believed that faith and doubt are a part of the same continuum, just at opposite ends, I guess I have always lingered more on the doubt half. I think that’s a part of my own struggle, and also a reflection of my desire for people to accept their doubts. It felt good to explore all the benefits of faith and to encourage folks to remember their own moments of coming to faith.” And with that, Mel went off to connect with some folks who had visited on Easter, and who had returned. He wanted to hear their story.

Because of that encounter, Pastor Baldridge was not surprised to get a call from Mel with an offer for a lunch date. Mel was so excited and because it was a nice day they met at Postinos in Gilbert and were lucky to get a shaded outdoor table. In the interests of their respective diets they split a bruschetta board and then lingered over their Arnold Palmers. Mel filled Pastor Baldridge in on the brainstorm that had been triggered by the sermon and had kept him awake half the night. 

Mel said, “It just came to me that there are dozens of faith stories that have been lived out in our life together at Crown and Cactus, and that will soon be forgotten if no one writes them down. I’m thinking that it’s likely that the Tangibilifier has even forgotten them–it’s been a long time. It’s only people like you and me that even have a sense of the whole history and how this congregation came to be.”

Pastor Baldridge just smiled and said, “I smell an assignment coming on. Are you thinking that I should put together some kind of book? And if so, where do you think I might find the time for that?”

Mel was silent. That was exactly what he had in mind. He said, “Well, somebody should. Who would be better than you?”

Pastor Baldridge pointed his finger at Mel. “You,” he said. “You’ve been getting bored in your role here, and I think you’ve only suggested this because you’d love to do it.”

Now Mel grinned, albeit a bit sheepishly. He had in fact been hoping that this is how the conversation would go. He said, “Well, maybe that’s true. But I do need some help. I need to know how to contact the Tangibilifier…he has all the inside stories…”

Pastor Baldridge interrupted. “Well, I’m afraid that’s a no-go zone. I’ve never been able to reach him, even when I was in a tight spot. He comes to me…and it’s always a surprise. When he gets wind of what you are doing, maybe he’ll get in touch…but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t. He mostly shows up around beginnings and endings…and I don’t think there are any endings in sight right now.”

With that the two men parted, and Mel got started on his project. At home in his office he started to put together a plan. He would start with interviewing some of the people, especially those who had come out of the cloud a year and a half ago and who had decided to come back to Crown and Cactus. The first on his list was Loren Meade. For one reason or another, Loren had always been the president of the congregation and Mel had never been aware of him being elected.

When they talked Mel mentioned this and Loren just shrugged. That’s just the way it was at Crown and Cactus, but it had made him a treasure trove of information. He knew a lot of the inside stories, so many that Mel despaired of writing them down. When he mentioned this Loren told him not to worry. He’d been keeping written records ever since the beginning. They went to Loren’s home office and he showed Mel saying, “I’ve got a written report of the news at Crown and Cactus ever since 2012.”

They looked at the hundreds of weekly reports. Mel glanced at a few. There were some about him…many about Myrtle Brier. He looked at Loren and said, “I wish that Myrtle was still around. I think she could give us the key to understanding how all these stories fit together.” 

Loren said, “Yeah, I know. I was hoping that maybe she would come back with us from the cloud, but no such luck.”

Mel looked at some of the older files and said, “You say this all started in 2012? I could swear I remember things from before that.”

Loren said, “Well, there are other stories. Crown and Cactus has been going on for a long time, but there are no written records of that period. I’m pretty sure that we’re missing more than half of our history.”

Mel came away from his conversation with Loren with some sadness, but also with a new sense of direction. What he needed to do now was to interview those who had been a part of Crown and Cactus before 2012. He could get their stories from the early years, maybe all the way back to the beginning. But who were they, and where were they now? He went back to Pastor Baldridge in his office last Wednesday and asked for his help. 

Pastor Baldridge sat back in his chair. Mel was right, he had been there at the beginning, but that didn’t mean he remembered any of it. He said, “I doubt that even the Tangibilifier remembers those early years. Sad to say, I think a lot of that stuff is just gone.”

Mel said, “Well, just tell me what you remember. Maybe I can pull the stories together from myself and Loren and Janice Porter and a couple other of the old-timers. I think Jennie Craster knows a lot of stuff too, though sometimes I think she just makes things up. I don’t know if they really happened or not.”

Pastor Baldridge got a faraway look on his face and said, “I was thinking that this must have been exactly what it was like when Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John wrote their gospels. They all knew that something spectacular had been happening in the faith communities, and that it was all connected with Jesus. But the stories were different. Some believers had been there from Day 1 but others were new to the church. I think they just did the best they could to preserve the message and didn’t worry much about details. Sometimes they even got ideas from the books of the prophets and the psalms that were a part of the Hebrew scriptures. They went ahead and wrote their gospels anyway, and we’re blessed that they did.”

Somehow that encouraged Mel, and he spent the rest of the morning coaxing memories from Pastor Baldridge’s aging hippocampus. In the afternoon he revisited Loren Meade and did the same. Both men struggled to come up with names and places, but they did manage to retrieve some surprising details. That evening he and Lil sat out on their patio in the cool of the evening and did some reflecting together. Both had vivid memories of the Holy Spirit moment that had drawn them to Crown and Cactus. On Thursday morning he made appointments with both Janice and Jennie and was overwhelmed by what they were able to call to mind. So much had happened and they seemed to remember it all. He again wondered if it were true, but he wrote it down anyway–their detail would add to the meat of the story.

By Friday Mel had a lot of notes and decided to go out to the Gilbert Riparian Area, walk around the ponds, and find a shady place to sit. He was bummed to see an older woman sitting in his favorite spot and glanced at her as he walked by. She looked up and smiled, a strangely familiar smile. He wondered if she knew he wanted to sit in her spot. He continued the circuit around the ponds, read the signs he’d read many times before, and kept watching to see if his bench would open up.

Finally on his third pass, she said to him, “Would you like to sit by me?” Her voice, so familiar, he looked at her closely. She was the spitting image of Myrtle Briar. He felt a cold chill run through his bones–it couldn’t be. His apprehension was obvious and she smiled at him, “Hi Mel. I was wondering if you would ever recognize me. Why are you afraid?”

Mel was speechless. He stood still, not knowing what to say. She said, “Come on, Mel, it’s okay. Yes, it’s really me. Would you like a cookie?” And she reached in her bag and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie and handed it to him. “Take it and eat,” she said.

And he did. And he sat there in silence, eating the cookie and listening to her talk. Somehow she knew what he was doing, and she recounted for him the whole story of Crown and Cactus right back to her arrival from North Dakota. And then she opened his mind to the whole purpose and intent of the Tangibilifier in bringing the congregation to life. She said, “All these things have taken place to open up the whole of scripture and shine the light of the gospel into the hearts of committed and faithful people. It’s all about grace,” she said, “and spreading the good news of change and forgiveness.”

Mel just sat there. Soon the cookie was gone, and so was Myrtle, gone back to wherever she had come from. He looked at his shirt and saw crumbs. “Crumbs,” he thought to himself, “she gave me so much and I feel like all I have is crumbs.” The story was even bigger than he realized. All he could do was take the fragments he had and somehow give it life-giving substance. He took a deep breath. For Myrtle’s sake, for Christ’s sake, he would do it.

And that’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are committed, the women are faithful, and the children are all growing in grace

Blessed Are Those Who Believe

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. John 20:19-31

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. There hadn’t been any baptisms this year at the Sunrise Service but under Jennie Craster’s direction the Creative Spaces group had more than matched the decorations at last year’s service. The fountain, which initially had been planned for use only in the Easter season, had remained in place through the entire year. On Saturday they’d given it a thorough deep cleaning and filled it with fresh water–a couple of folks had mentioned that they thought it was beginning to smell like a public pool, and that just wouldn’t do. Again they had a whole variety of green plants, ferns, and potted palms strategically placed in the chancel area, and it did really look like a garden.

When he had gotten down to the church about 4:30 Pastor Baldridge was thanking God that the service was going to be indoors. It doesn’t rain often in Arizona, but the timing of this storm was terrible. Mel Falstaff, well-prepared as always, had checked the weather and had ordered about a dozen umbrellas just in case. So when people arrived, members of the Intentional Greeters group met them in the parking lot and walked them into the church. It was a nice touch, and a great way to demonstrate hospitality. He’d even gotten hold of some larger umbrellas that could be placed in stands to provide shelter for people to eat their Easter brunch outside between services. There were a lot of people, more than usual, and his crew had quite a workout while making sure that everyone was warmly welcomed. They made an attempt to get names of visitors while escorting them to the welcome table, but given the chaos they did miss a few.

Mel’s group has been doing their intentional welcoming all through the year now and they have the details down pat. Mel is still contacting new folks the week after their visits, and since he has a passion for that sort of thing, it’s gone rather well. Quite a few folks have become a part of the regular worshiping community, and he’s incorporated several into the Intentional Greeters crew.

 They started the service at 6:30 and began with the sanctuary in darkness as Lacey Zeiner, playing the role of Mary Magdalene wearing a full blue robe, walked slowly to the front of the church while the choir sang “In The Garden,” just as had been done the year before. And all in all, things went well. The choir sang at both services, and because the hymns were familiar the congregational singing was robust and full of enthusiasm. Even Pastor Baldridge seemed to have more energy than usual, probably because he’d been meditating on resurrection through the whole season of Lent. It’s taken him a long time but he’s finally gotten away from some of his old notions of what resurrection is about and is beginning to understand that the whole creation reeks of resurrection all through the year, and that it’s actually an integral part of reality in our universe. He still doesn’t understand what happened with Jesus, but he’s more than okay with the mystery of it all.

Prisha Patel, who typically doesn’t come to worship, was there for the second service on Easter, and afterward made it a point to search out Pastor Baldridge and thank him for making it possible to start the meditation classes at Crown and Cactus. She said, “I liked what you said about Jesus and resurrection this morning. Even though I’m a Hindu I love the image of the new and transformed life that you described. I hope you don’t mind that I worship with you on your holiest day. Everyone is very welcoming.”

Pastor Baldridge laughed and gave her a hug. “Of course you’re welcome, and one of these years I plan to make it to Holi. I hear it’s a wonderful time of joy and celebration. I think I’d like it. And thank you for keeping us in good financial order. Carl tells me that he’s impressed and that you’re doing a bang-up job.”

Late Sunday afternoon, Pastor Baldridge and Helga went over to Mel and Lil Falstaff’s home for what Lil called a lite “lupper,” which is something between a lunch and supper. They had some ham and bagels, a tasty three bean salad, some fruit, and a scrumptious blueberry dessert. Mel and Lil don’t have children, so they’re kind of in the same boat as the Baldridge’s on holidays. They talked a bit about that as they ate. Neither couple regrets not having children, but there are some occasions that seem to revolve around kids, and in those moments they feel a little left out.

Mei said, “Today I saw young people at worship that I hardly recognized. They’d come with their parents and it had been years since I’d seen them. They’re all grown up! It got me thinking about whether they worship when they’re not home visiting. I noticed that some didn’t sing the hymns, though they surely knew them once. They were pleasant and polite but I had the definite feeling that they were only there to please their moms and dads.”

Helga got up  to help Lil clear the table–they were going to play some cards in the evening. Pastor Baldridge could hear them talking out in the kitchen. He said to Mel, “Well, I saw the same kids. I had some of them in confirmation class, and I still remember their confirmation days. I think you’re right. Most of them have zero interest in church. That’s one of the reasons I like what Lacey is doing in Tempe. She’s actually reaching some of those kids who dropped out a long time ago. The difference between those young people and the ones we saw at church today is that the ones visiting today aren’t in the streets. Life has been good to them. They have no need of worship.”

Mel said, “I’ve been thinking about something I’d like to throw at you. It’s been my observation that Lutherans are pretty affirming when it comes to doubt. We tell people not to worry if they have doubts, that even the disciples doubted the resurrection. I think that you’ve always talked about your own doubts, and have done a good job of reassuring people that they’re not alone if they wonder about things. For the most part I’ve appreciated that, and I suppose it’s helped me deal with my own doubts.”

Pastor Baldridge caught the wording, “for the most part,” and asked if Mel was questioning his approach. Mel hesitated, and then said, “Well, yes, I guess I am. I’m wondering if sometimes we don’t get so comfortable with doubting that we never get around to believing…and if that’s the case, I think that’s tragic. I’m thinking of the text for next Sunday, the one about Thomas. We call him Doubting Thomas, but maybe we should call him Believing Thomas. When Jesus saw him he said,  ‘Do not doubt, but believe.’ And then he said, ‘Blessed are those who have not seen, yet have come to believe.’ John wrote his whole gospel so that people might become believers.”

Pastor Baldridge asked, “Okay, I get what you are saying. What do you suggest we do about it?”

Just then Lil and Helga came back into the room. Lil said, “My, my, what sober looking faces. I thought today was Easter. We should be celebrating.”

Mel and Pastor Baldridge just looked at each other. Mel said, “Oh, we were just talking about doubt and faith. Is it possible to damage faith by encouraging doubt?”

“Ooh, good question,” Helga said. “What’s the answer?” And she looked at Pastor Baldridge.

Pastor Baldridge’s head was starting to hurt and he suddenly felt very tired. He managed an “I don’t know,” as he shrugged his shoulders. He wished there were a formula to turn doubters into believers, but he’d never run across one. He only knew kids can’t be forced to believe. He said, “It sounds like a copout, but I think it’s a Spirit thing,” and managed a wry smile for Mel’s sake.

Mel smiled back. He hadn’t meant to put Pastor Baldridge on the spot–and he knew there wasn’t an answer to the question. But the seeming unbelief of those kids in church had started him down a rabbit hole. He said, “I guess all we can do is keep telling our faith stories every chance we get. That’s the only thing that might make a difference.”

And that’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are committed and the women are faithful, and all the children are growing in grace…and maybe even faith as well.

Clean Feet and a Walk Not Spoiled

When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.” So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid. Mark 16:1-8

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Palm Sunday activities had gone well, though Jennie Craster is wondering if all the effort in getting the sanctuary and exterior areas decorated with palm branches was really worth the effort. “All that work and only for about three hours of worship,” she grunted to herself as she assisted in throwing the fronds into the refuse containers on Monday morning! And no sooner was that done than she had to lead her creative spaces group into setting up three very different worship environments for Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. Some of the regulars were making complaining noises. They had company coming in from out-of-town and were preparing meals at home in addition to what they were doing at church. But secretly Jennie relishes Holy Week…it really is a time for her group to shine, and she loves the compliments. 

Pastor Baldridge loves the Maundy Thursday service and has been visiting families for the last month to talk to the children  about communion participation. There are about a dozen fourth and fifth graders in the Sunday School and while some of them have been taking communion for several years, others are new to the idea. Pastor Baldridge doesn’t set rules for involvement. When he says, “All are welcome,” he really means it, but he also knows that parents appreciate the annual classes he has every Lent. They want their children to know the origins, meaning, and purpose of the Sacrament, and really like it that he pays particular attention to each child. He enjoys the ten and eleven year olds. They’re so enthusiastic and excited about full participation. And when he comes to their homes for conversation, they’re beside themselves! 

This year, at 6:00 on Thursday evening, a simplified Seder meal was prepared for the children and their parents in the Sunday School area. Susan Gruen, whose grandmother on her father’s side was Jewish explained the meaning of the symbolic foods served at the meal, and also led the whole group in a ritual she’s written that captures the mood of Passover. It was a great way to demonstrate the connection between Judaism and Christianity. Later at 7:00 they all walked over to the sanctuary for the Maundy Thursday liturgy.

Lacey Zeiner spent the first part of the week trying to figure out how to handle the unforeseen difficulties that have accompanied the greater appeal of her Thursday evening gatherings at the Sun Devil Tavern on Mill Avenue. A week ago, following the dismissal of the group at the park, she had been warned by a police officer that if she planned on using the park regularly, she would have to get a use permit. Brad didn’t know if that was even feasible, and Pastor Baldridge had little guidance, implying that he felt she could figure it out. Lacey is not a rule breaker and she didn’t want to run the risk of getting a citation from the police. So she decided to visit the folks at Parks and Recreation for directions.

It turns out that the police officer was right. There are a multitude of rules for the use of public and private property in Tempe. A very nice man referred her to the multi-paged city code, and gave her a copy to take with her. She rounded up Chris and they went through it together. Chris wasn’t very patient with the closely worded definitions and lost interest in a hurry. He was in favor of just pushing the envelope and seeing what happened. He said, “It’s impossible for us to comply with any of these things because we’re not planning them in advance. We just show up as the Spirit leads us…we’re not in control, God is!”

Lacey wasn’t sure. She appreciated Chris’ spirit, but thought they could be at least a little proactive. She went to the manager of the Sun Devil Tavern to get his input. He’d been very encouraging about giving them space and she wondered if there was any more that she could do. He listened to her concerns and then shared one of his own. There are strict rules about the number of people he can have in his building, and they’ve been pushing right up to the limit the last couple of weeks. He said, “If the fire department catches wind of this they could shut me down.”

That didn’t help Lacey a bit. She only wanted to reach people with the love of Jesus and now it seemed as though obstacles were being arbitrarily placed in her way. She wondered if Jesus had had to worry about such things during his Galilean ministry–if he’d even worried about the number of people in the crowds, or if he’d violated Roman Health and Sanitary Laws when he fed the 5000.

Still not having figured anything out, she gave up and on Thursday morning went to visit Letitia Brown at the new home that she and Marcus had purchased in the Seville housing development in Gilbert. Letitia was so excited. Marcus’ home had been good for a bachelor but it was cramped for the three of them. The home they’d managed to buy was small for its area, just three bedrooms but the backyard was wonderful. Right next to a golf course, it was like the whole world had been opened up outside their back patio.

After showing Lacey around the two women settled down on that back patio for some tea and cookies. There was a lot to talk about…they’d become great friends in the last year and a half. Lacey noticed golfers walking on the course, and people who seemed to be watching them. She asked about them, and Letitia said with excitement, “Oh, that’s the LPGA tournament. The top women golfers from all over the world are here and it’s on national television. It’s so fun to watch.”

Lacey said, “I think I heard Pastor Baldridge talking about this. Someone gave him tickets.”

“We don’t need no tickets,” Letitia said with a smile. “All we got to do is open that gate and get on the path. We can watch the whole thing.” She got excited. “You want to go see,” she said. “I’ll get Sarah in her stroller and we can join the fun.”

Lacey checked the time. She didn’t have a lot to spare, but had everything lined up for the evening gathering in Tempe. Letitia’s proposal sounded like fun, a way to relax, enjoy the beautiful weather, and have some casual conversation for a change. So with Letitia pushing the stroller, Sarah in the cutest little white bonnet to shield her from the sun, they set out down the concrete path toward what looked like a gathering of people about a hundred yards away. 

The place they were heading to turned out to be the green of the third hole. Some of the crowd left when the golfers had made their putts, so they found a shady spot just to the right of the green and waited. It was so pleasant, virtually no wind and not too hot. Lacey enjoyed it more than she probably should have. She was surprised when a golf ball landed just a few yards away–she hadn’t seen any golfer. Jolted into alertness she looked into the distance and saw two golfers getting ready to hit. She saw swings, and then nothing, until a ball would descend from the sky and land on the green. Then came the golfers, putters in hand and walking quickly toward the green. They marked their balls, flipped them to their caddies, and then studied the line of their putts. They were so businesslike and precise. There was little conversation, and one by one they putted. One of them got her ball in the hole and the crowd applauded. Otherwise there was silence. Lacey noted that even the crowd was quiet–certainly quieter than they would have been in church.

When the golfers headed off toward the next tee, Letitia suggested that they follow. They found a spot directly behind the tee box and watched the women, one by one, choose drivers and hit their shots. One of the women was from Japan, no more than five feet tall. She stood up to her ball, gave a few waggles of her club, and swung. It didn’t seem as though she’d used any effort at all but the ball soared off the tee, straight down the fairway, over a hill and out of sight. Lacey was stunned. She’d never seen anything so beautiful–and the next two women did the same, striking their drives and picking up their tees, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

As they walked back to Letitia’s house, Lacey shared her feelings. She’s never seen women do something so incredible. She told Letitia that Pastor Baldridge had told her to take up golf, and while she thinks he may be joking, maybe he had inadvertently spoken the truth. She said, “It seems to be such an introverted sport. There’s very little talking. Each woman is so focused, totally intent on her task. I know it’s a competitive sport but they didn’t seem to be competing.” 

Letitia just laughed. Marcus, her husband golfs, and he just gets frustrated. She can’t imagine Lacey ever doing something like that to relax. When real life gives frustration, why pick something frustrating to do with your free time?

Lacey got back in plenty of time to collect what she needed for that evening. She went by herself since Brad was involved with the Seder, and that was okay with her. Her walk with Letitia had given her release, and she was ready to see what the Spirit had in mind tonight.

There weren’t quite as many people gathered at the Sun Devil when she got there, and the manager greeted her with a smile. He said, “Hey, don’t worry about what I said last Monday…I’ve never yet seen a fireman in here taking attendance.” A bit reassured Lacey went on to her little group. Again she checked in with individuals, giving each a bit of undivided attention, and then consulted with Chris and Niles about music. Syd was there, the center of his own little group, speaking intently and gesturing, very much into his role as a witness.

Lacey had decided to use foot-washing as the center of what they did so the group went out to the patio where there was more room and it wouldn’t hurt if a little water were spilled. She read the related passage from John 13, and said that Jesus’ last gift to his disciples was to wash their feet. She said, “Tonight I’m going to wash your feet, and when we’re done I’d like to talk about how that felt.” After giving permission not to participate, she filled the bowl she’d brought along with water, knelt beside it and invited them to come sit in a chair while she washed and then dried their feet. At first they were hesitant, but then nearly all of them came. Some cried, a few had embarrassed expressions, and a couple apologized for how dirty their feet were. Lacey gently washed them all, complimenting them, and thanking them for the privilege they’d given her. And when she was done they talked.

Lacey told them that Jesus had chosen this humble act to demonstrate servanthood to his disciples. She asked how it had felt. Everyone had an answer. Few had ever experienced anything like this. Syd said, “I felt like I should be doing this for you.” And others expressed similar convictions. Lacey closed the evening by reminding them that it was on this occasion that Jesus gave his one commandment, that the disciples should love as they had been loved. And then they all went home, thinking about love, and enjoying their freshly washed feet. And Lacey went home…thinking about golf!

That’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are committed, the women are faithful, and the children are all growing in grace.

An Unplanned Parade

When they were approaching Jerusalem, at Bethphage and Bethany, near the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples and said to them, “Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately as you enter it, you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden; untie it and bring it. If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here immediately.’” They went away and found a colt tied near a door, outside in the street. As they were untying it, some of the bystanders said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” They told them what Jesus had said; and they allowed them to take it. Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it. Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields. Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting,

“Hosanna!

Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!

Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David!

Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

Then he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple; and when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve. Mark 11:1-11

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. It’s a busy time of the year, and in addition to the weekly events of Lent, the staff and other leaders have been making plans for Holy Week and Easter. The musicians have actually added a second rehearsal to their schedule since each service will be having a particular mood, and music will be one of the most important ingredients. At least that’s how Janice Porter sees it, and she’s been so pleased by the response of her singers. They’re not doing an Easter cantata but every service will have at least two special numbers by the whole choir and there are several opportunities for solo voices too.

Jennie Craster faced a big challenge this week in getting ready for Palm Sunday, probably the most labor intensive festival of the year for her Creative Spaces group. The primary decoration was of course palm branches, but it’s not only the sanctuary area that needs work, she plans on having the outside spaces fully decorated too. This year they’re not only asking people to bring the branches to the church, a whole crew has volunteered to go out and actually do the trimming in people’s yards. When Pastor Baldridge heard that he was appalled! He imagined people donning climber’s gear and climbing high into the trees while holding chainsaws. Surely nothing good could come of that!

Pastor Baldridge has been grateful for the help of Lacey Zeiner this week in getting ready for Palm Sunday. The first part of the service will take place outside and she’s taking responsibility for getting the procession lined up and making sure there isn’t some sort of mad dash into the sanctuary as people enter–everyone wants to make sure that they can get a good seat. One big problem was solved when Brad suggested that the outdoor liturgy be ended with two processions, one of children following a donkey to their Sunday School area, while everyone else would follow the choir into the sanctuary. He’s getting the donkey, a well-trained little guy, from a friend of Jim Briar’s out in Queen Creek, to be delivered on Sunday morning. And Michael Briar, Jim’s son, who knows the donkey well, will be the initial designated rider. Later on, after the service and during fellowship time the donkey will be available to give rides on the back lawn.

While all this planning was going on, mostly without Pastor Baldridge’s input, which is just fine with him, Kyle Ryder stopped in to chat with him this last Tuesday. Kyle wanted to update Pastor Baldridge on his golf ministry and suggest that there be a class offered on golf and the spirit. He’d recently run across a book by F. Scott Peck by that name and had found it most interesting. Peck, who was an avid golfer, suggested in the book that since he found golf to be an extremely difficult sport and intensely humiliating, he only played because he experienced it as an amazing spiritual discipline. Pastor Baldridge listened to Kyle with an amused smile, envisioning what he’d experienced at the last WM Phoenix Open. There hadn’t been much spiritual enlightenment going on in that setting. Kyle rambled on in the way that golfers do when they think they have an appreciative audience until Pastor Baldridge glanced at his watch indicating that the conversation would soon close.

At that point Kyle asked what he thought about starting a class. He said, “I don’t know if you heard, but my cousin, Sam, won over $400,000 at the Players Championship. He’s going to stop in Phoenix to see me after the Masters and I think I could talk him into giving a little skills session here at the church. Or maybe we could use the range at Western Skies–now that snowbirds are going home, they’d likely be glad to host an event.” Pastor Baldridge never says no to innovative ideas, but he came very close here. He doesn’t see the relationship between golf and spiritual enlightenment. In his book, when things get frustrating, the best thing to do is stop doing them. But he’s a nice guy and told Kyle to go ahead and see what he could work out. 

As Kyle was leaving, he took an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Pastor Baldridge. He said, “Sam has some friends in Florida who play on the women’s tour and he got 4 tickets to the LPGA tournament that is going to be played here in Gilbert. Since he can’t fly out, he sent them to me, and now I’d like you to have them–I’d already gotten mine.” 

Pastor Baldridge said thanks and tossed the envelope on his desk. He’d give them to someone who cared. Later on, just before going home for lunch he looked at the dates, and then he laughed to himself. The tournament was being held on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter. It was just what a busy pastor needed! 

Lacey Zeiner found herself almost dreading going to her weekly gathering at the Sun Devil Tavern on Thursday evening. The experience with Syd last week had taken her totally by surprise. Never had she ever imagined being a messiah figure for anyone. She knew she had spiritual gifts and was grateful to be able to use them in her ministry at Crown and Cactus. She genuinely loved people and was happy when her presence sparked joy in others. Still at times she did worry that it might go to her head. She deeply prized humility and didn’t want to think more highly of herself than she ought.

She had mentioned these things to Pastor Baldridge shortly after his meeting with Kyle Ryder and he had just laughed. He said, “Why don’t you start playing golf? I’ve heard it’s an easy way to experience humiliation and frustration. You might try it as a balance to what you are doing on Mill Avenue.” Lacey had been surprised by what he said and assumed he was joking–which he was. He just said to go with the flow and see what happens. He thought the aura would rub off soon.

So Thursday she and Brad made their way to the Sun Devil Tavern to see what surprises awaited them. Well, they found immediately that Syd had continued his witnessing ministry, the call he had claimed for himself and assumed to have come from the Spirit. He’d been visiting with people all week as he’d continued looking for work. So far a job had eluded him–employers didn’t seem to be impressed by his recent stay in the Clark County Jail in Las Vegas. All he ‘d been able to find were some day labor stints doing clean-up and trimming. And of course, there’d been a few gigs filling in for drummers in various bands. But he had a lot of contacts–and his newfound enthusiasm for the gospel was infectious. The place was packed with young people and older hippie types when Lacey walked in and a cheer erupted.

She spent the next half hour mixing with newcomers, listening to stories, and trying to find room for the musicians to stand. It was so crowded, and even if folks went out in the patio area there still wasn’t enough room–and they all wanted to stand close to Lacey. Finally Brad said in her ear, “Let’s walk down to the park. It’s a nice night and folks can sit on the grass.” So that’s what they did.

Brad went ahead to find a spot and Lacey said, “Follow me!” As the group walked along the sidewalk they attracted lots of attention. Chris and Niles strummed their guitars and led some familiar songs, and lots of the people sang along. It was like being part of a parade. A police car pulled alongside and Syd recognized the officer. She was like an old friend now and Syd had spoken to her several times in the last week or so. He’d found out that she was the reigning Miss Arizona, and she had been intrigued by his witness. This night, after Syd told her what they were doing she’d even turned on the flashing lights and guided them on the way. When they got to Tempe Town Lake Park they went to the area Brad had found and settled in. 

It really was a wonderful setting. They sang some songs, a few offered testimonies, and after a bit Lacey stepped to the front. She read the story of Jesus’ entrance into Jerusalem and then talked about mixed expectations. The crowd had wanted to exult Jesus as king but he had chosen the role of a humble servant. He’d acted that out by riding on a donkey, but the people hadn’t been able to see it. They wanted glory and dominance–but that’s not what they got from Jesus.

Then Lacey spoke quite directly of her ministry and their expectations of her. She said, “I’m not Jesus, and I’m not sure that who I am is what you want.”

Someone shouted out, “We know that, and we do want you!”

A girl screamed, “Three cheers for Lacey,” and they all started chanting her name. 

When she could get them to quiet down she said, “Okay, I’ll be Lacey…I hope you aren’t disappointed.” They closed the evening with prayers. In the growing darkness names and concerns were freely offered. Lacey had an amazing ability to remember prayer needs and she mentioned them all as their time together came to an end.

As the group gradually dispersed, the police officer, who had remained until the end, called Lacey over to her car. She said, “I’m letting this go tonight because I assumed it was unplanned, but I need you to know that if you continue to use the park, you will need to apply for a permit.” Lacey just sighed and said, “Thanks for helping us tonight and for letting us know. I just don’t know what the future holds. We don’t have a plan.”

On their way back to their apartment Brad said, “If I’d known this was going to happen, I could have arranged to get the donkey for tonight. It would have been perfect for you to ride from the tavern to the park.”

Lacey hit him on the shoulder as he started to laugh. She was remembering that Jesus’ triumphant entry had been followed almost immediately by rejection and crucifixion. She wondered what lay ahead for her! Not wanting to spoil Brad’s merry moment, she kept those thoughts to herself.

That’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are committed, the women are faithful, and the children are all growing in grace.

They Wanted To See Jesus

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

“Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die. John 12:20-33

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Last Sunday because it was still spring break in a number of schools there were several families who had chosen to go out of town and who were not present at worship. Some were skiing, others had gone to Mexico, and a few had made the trek to San Diego. As it turned out, the number absent was more than matched by the Chicago Cubs spring training fans who had been attracted by the flyers being passed out every day at the Mesa ballpark. They were thrilled at the invitation and loved the children’s recessional that is still a part of every morning worship service. Many had been there at the Wednesday service and even made some personal connections.

At the choir rehearsal on Wednesday, Janice asked Sean O’Conner the lead tenor in the choir if he wanted to do a special Irish number on Sunday. Of course he was thrilled to be asked and they settled on the old Irish prayer tune that he had first sung in 2012. Sean has a lovely high voice and is very proud of his heritage. He and his family have been regulars at Crown and Cactus for many years. Their children, all in high school now, have been fixtures in the youth program, and they were among the first to come back after their time in the cloud. 

The worship on Wednesday, after the soup and bread supper, had been notable, not only for the Chicago visitors, but for the little knot of twenty-somethings that had shown up with Syd McCovey. They had driven into the parking lot just a couple minutes before the service started and had seated themselves in a little cluster around Syd in the rear of the sanctuary. Syd waved at some folks that he knew but his friends seemed quite self-conscious and a couple would glance periodically at the ceiling, as though they were afraid it was going to fall on them. Only Syd joined in the singing–the others paying little attention until Lacey Zeiner began her little meditation on  Psalm 51. She focused on the verse, “I was born guilty, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” She talked about how that verse has affected attitudes about human sexuality through the years, and its impact on her own life. As she spoke, Syd’s friends listened intently.

After the worship the little group stayed until Lacey came out of the sanctuary, and then as Syd went over to greet her, they all crowded around. The men had taken their hats off and they seemed awestruck in her presence. Lacey, of course, had a warm greeting for each of them and asked personal questions that they answered with some embarrassment. When she found out they were all from Tempe, she invited them to come to the Thursday night gathering. As they left she gave Syd a gentle hug and they all drove off together. 

Later, Brad asked Lacey about them, and was wondering why they had been at the service. Lacey just shrugged and said, “Who knows? I’m sure I’ll find out tomorrow night.”

Thursday was a busy day for both Brad and Lacey. One of the Chicago people had given them tickets to the Cubs game in Mesa and they had decided to go. The seats were wonderful and they had a great time watching the Cubs win. A few people recognized them from church and they were greeted warmly–it was amazing to experience how innovation in ministry could expand outreach. At any rate they didn’t get to downtown Tempe as early as Lacey would have liked–there wasn’t time for her usual wandering around and making connections. When they got to the Sun Devil Tavern, where Lacey’s group met, there were already a number of young people sitting around in the back room. She recognized three who had been at the Wednesday service and greeted them by name. Brad is always amazed at how she can do that–it’s as though they’re wearing name tags that only she can see.

Chris and Miles showed up a little later and it wasn’t long before everyone was singing. Through the weeks they’d developed an appreciation for a couple of the songs and they never got tired of singing them. It was an amazing atmosphere. This night, more and more people kept coming, and some spilled out into the patio area. Syd was among the last to arrive and he was shepherding along a couple of those Lacey had met the night before. When Lacey began to speak she asked how everyone was, and anyone who wished could share how the week had been going. She always listened intently and gave careful warm responses. Chris had a new song for them and took some minutes to teach the rhythm, tune, and lyrics. Then Lacey spoke about Jesus and his sacrificial love. She asked if any had ever experienced sacrificial love–it was a hard question for many of them–few had ever experienced much love of any kind.

It was a good evening, and the participants were reluctant to leave. Lacey sent them off with a challenge, to love people they met with the love that Jesus has for us all. When they had gone, Syd was still hanging around. It was obvious that he wanted to have some alone time with Lacey. So while Brad went off with Chris and Miles to see their apartment, Syd walked with Lacey down to the lake.

In response to her question about all the new people, Syd had smiled sheepishly. Slowly and shyly he revealed his answer. Ever since he’d gotten back from Las Vegas, as he’s been looking for a job, he’s been thinking about his call to ministry, his call to be a disciple of Jesus. He’d gone down to the place of his baptism, just to catch the vibe of the place again. He’d seen the policewoman who had arrested him, flagged her down, and had a nice conversation, thanking her for doing her job. She wasn’t much interested in his testimony, but she had at least smiled at him. It wasn’t often she got thanked by a criminal for an arrest. And then he had talked to whoever would listen, both in the places he was applying for work, and for people he met along the way. When people were willing to listen he’d share his story, and some asked questions. He had a chance to talk about Jesus, his ministry to the poor and the hurting, and his own call to live a new life. Some were interested in the story of his baptism, and he gladly shared what had happened on that cold January day.

And then last week there were some people who had actually approached him. He guessed that word had gotten out. And they had asked him if he knew where they might make contact with this Jesus he’d been talking about so much. One had phrased it this way, “Syd, we want to see Jesus.” Syd hadn’t quite known how to respond–it was just like the gospel of John. And then on an impulse he’d said, “I can help you. If one of you can drive, I’ll take you to see Jesus on Wednesday night.” And so it was that the whole group of them had shown up at Crown and Cactus for the Lenten service. He’d known that Lacey was doing a meditation each week and thought this would be the perfect chance for them to meet Jesus. 

When he finished his story Syd just looked at Lacey, waiting for her reaction, a shy smile on his face. Lacey had stopped and stood facing him–it had been a long day and she didn’t quite know what to say. Finally she said quietly, “Oh Syd, I’m not Jesus–I’m not anything close.”

Syd spoke, with a tinge of disappointment in his tone, “Well, just try telling them that! They saw and heard you on Wednesday–and again tonight. I could see it in their faces. They’ve seen Jesus, and they’re going to be back.”

“Oh Syd,” Lacey began again, “I don’t know what to say. I never expected this.”

“I understand,” Syd returned, but this is what people are seeing and saying!”

Later when Lacey and Brad headed home she told him about this strange conversation with Syd. “What should I do? I’m not Jesus.”

Brad was quiet for a moment. He understood what Lacey was feeling, but he also knew what Syd was talking about. He knew there was something special about his wife, that while Christ is in all people, and works through all people, Lacey actually presented folks with Jesus, and it wasn’t a show. It was who she was. He said, “I think that this has been going on for a long time, and now Syd, in his new disciple way, has put his finger on it. He’s vocalizing what others have felt but have not had words to describe.” He put his hand on hers. “Don’t worry,” he said, “I won’t let it go to your head!”

When they had gotten to their apartment, even though she was very tired, Lacey wasn’t able to sleep. It was going to take a while to work through what she’d experienced tonight. She felt Brad’s hand on her hip, he whispered, “Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone crucify you!”

And that’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are faithful, the women are committed, and the children are all growing in grace.

Spring Break Double Down

And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. “Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.” John 3:14-21

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Pastor Baldridge has long lamented the fact that spring break always comes during the Lenten Season. No sooner has the congregation gained momentum in ministry than he gets word that spring break is coming, and because districts and charter schools operate independently of each, there is no common calendar. Essentially, because of the varying schedules, the heart gets ripped out of Lent, and the congregation limps through the season that is supposed to present the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth. Sometimes he longs for the good old days when churches dictated to the community, and schools were forced to get in line with what was happening in the congregations. It wasn’t that long ago that no schools would hold activities on Wednesday evenings–”church night” was inviolate. Teachers weren’t even allowed to assign homework! Now it’s anything goes! Even Sunday mornings are used for soccer games and practices of all kinds. The congregation have to be content with the leftover times, or force families to choose.

That’s what the staff had to listen to last Monday as they gathered for their weekly meeting. Of course they’re used to it–he rants like this every year. When he was done they did their usual reflection on how things had gone in worship and their current challenges in ministry. None of them dared to suggest that they simply cancel all activities for the next couple of weeks to accommodate those who would be going out of town. Crown and Cactus will stand alone in continuing its weekly schedule–Pastor Baldridge doesn’t believe that people need a break from church and none will be offered. And mostly the staff is okay with that–if they do discover that families are going out of town for a week or so they make adjustments. 

In fact, at Crown and Cactus a group of people have decided to double down on Lenten weekly activities. They reason that since schools aren’t scheduling during spring break there will be more, and not fewer, opportunities for worship, fellowship, and learning. As a result there’s a full calendar every Wednesday evening. It all starts with a soup and bread meal about 5:30. There are some folks who are into healthy eating and this is their innovative ministry effort. They experiment with recipes and then share them, and people have really appreciated it. Generally there have been a lot of beans, vegetables, and spices, and very little meat. A couple have even been bringing desserts, usually a no-no during Lent, but acceptable at Crown and Cactus. After the meal the schedule is full…first comes a half hour meditative service similar to Holden Evening Prayer put together by Janice Porter and featuring a variety of instruments. The music alone is inspiring but Lacey Zeiner has been offering some meditative gems based on the weekly psalms that some say ought to be published. 

After worship there are confirmation classes, activities for younger children, and of course choir practice. It makes for a full evening, but it’s been very well received. In fact, by doing some advertising at spring training venues, they’ve managed to attract a fair number of baseball people. Cub fans in particular seem receptive to the free meal and worship. With each week, more have shown up! 

This Wednesday, after engaging in conversation with visitors and helping to clean up in the fellowship area, Pastor Baldridge went out to the Briar Bench to relax and say good-night to everyone as they left. He loves this time by himself and was offering prayers of thanksgiving that the congregation had managed to turn spring break into a blessing rather than a curse. It has given him the spiritual boost that his heart has needed.

As he sat there in the shadows he noticed someone walking across the parking lot toward the sanctuary doors. At first he thought it was one of the choir members–Janice had told them to take their music home to practice–perhaps one of the tenors had forgotten. But it wasn’t a tenor or a bass, it was Syd! Pastor Baldridge was happy to see him but wondered why he was there–and why he was walking. The church was about 10 miles from downtown Tempe and not an easy jaunt for anyone.

Syd was surprised when he’d greeted him from the darkness of the bench. As it turned out he’d been heading for the bench himself. Lacey had told him stories of Myrtle Briar and had said her spirit lurked there in the darkness. Syd had some questions and had thought perhaps she might help him with answers. He said all this quite sheepishly–he didn’t really believe in such things. But when Lacey spoke he took her seriously, and so he’d come. Since he didn’t have a car he’d come by bus, transferred a couple of times, and had then walked about a mile.

He told Pastor Baldridge, “I actually like being out alone at night. There’s something about the darkness that energizes me. I think it stems from my time as a teenager when I went out every night to mess around with my friends. The darkness was like an invisibility cloak–and we could get away with just about any mischief we wanted.”

Pastor Baldridge smiled, “John, the gospel writer, had noticed that. He even says that people loved darkness because their deeds were evil, and that’s why they didn’t believe in Jesus.”

Syd said, “Yeah, I remember reading that when I was in prison. I don’t know why, but even though I now believe in Jesus, I still love the darkness. I’m comforted by it…and I’m certainly not covering up my evil deeds any longer.”

After a laugh Pastor Baldridge asked, “So what was it you wanted to ask Mabel? I’m not nearly the saint that she is, but she did teach me a lot of things.”

Syd paused for a moment. He’d expected that he’d just be thinking his thoughts, but if Pastor Baldridge was to be his advisor, he’d have to say them out loud, and that wasn’t easy for a quiet guy. Finally he said, “Well, it’s really about Jesus. I just don’t understand the connection between my belief and his death. Can’t I believe in him and commit my life to him without connecting it to the cross? I just don’t get how his death is connected to me,,,I know I’m repeating myself but I am confused.”

Pastor Baldridge reassured Syd, “Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s confusing to a lot of people. They just don’t try to figure it out like you do. Let me see if I have words that can help you.”

“When Jesus was involved in ministry many people became his disciples. They were drawn to him by his words and deeds and his promise of new life. It wasn’t so that they would go to heaven when they died but so they could have life now. In him the kingdom of heaven had come to them.”

Syd said, “Right, and he hadn’t even died yet.”

Pastor Baldridge went on, “That’s right, but after his death and resurrection his disciples taught that people hadn’t missed out. They could still believe in him and they could still receive that gift of life. And John taught that when he died on that cross he had actually been lifted up like that bronze serpent in the wilderness. Jesus on a cross became a focal point for the believers’ eyes and for their imaginations. John even wrote that Jesus’ last words were “It is finished!” His ministry was over, and this was his last act. And it’s really true. It’s on the cross that we see Jesus in all his glory. His unconditional, self-giving love was on display for all to see. Everything that we know and love about Jesus is wrapped up in the cross.” He paused, suddenly doubting that his words were anything but garbled. “Does that make any sense? Maybe I should just let Myrtle talk.”

They sat for some time, feeling comfortable in each other’s presence, but not knowing quite what to say. Suddenly there was a rustling sound right behind them. It was coming from the vicinity of the bougainvillea bush and together they turned toward it. They froze in anticipation and waited, but there was nothing. A small rabbit moved out of the darkness and into a patch of moonlight, and both of them sighed.

Syd resumed their conversation, “So basically you’re saying that Jesus being lifted up on the cross gave people a better view of him? That sounds almost silly.”

“I guess it does,” Pastor Baldridge said, “now that you put it that way. But it’s not just so that people in the last row of the crowd could see better, it’s so that we could see better. We can actually see him from 2000 years away.  I really believe that if Jesus hadn’t been crucified we wouldn’t even have heard of him. No other death could have had that kind of impact.”

Syd rolled that thought over in his head and said, “Now that sounds like something Myrtle would have said! I’m going to have to roll that over in my head for a while but maybe there’s something there. Thanks! If you don’t mind, I’m going to stay here a while. I know you’re probably worn out from the evening…and I bet your wife would love to see you.”

Pastor Baldridge offered to give Syd a ride back to Mill Avenue, but Syd turned him down. He knew the bus schedule and there was plenty of time, and besides, he waid with a smile, he still loves the darkness. He did accept a prayer though, and Pastor Baldridge, laying his hands on Syd’s head, offered praise and thanksgiving for Jesus and for the gift of belief that now belonged to them both.

Syd looked up, received the mark of the cross on this forehead, and with tears in his eyes, said “Thanks…maybe next week I’ll come for the soup.”

That’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are faithful, the women are committed, and the children are all growing in grace.

The Angry Disciple

The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” The Jews then said to him, “What sign can you show us for doing this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” The Jews then said, “This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?” But he was speaking of the temple of his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken. John 2:12-22

It’s been a quiet week at Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, that little congregation over between Mesa and Gilbert and Chandler. Last week is still a bit of a blur for Brad and Lacey Zeiner. After having Syd given over into Lacey’s custody they felt responsible for him and felt like they had abruptly become parents of a person they really knew nothing about. They got him a room in the Luxor near their own, and after a long evening of conversation, said good night, all the while hoping he’d be there in the morning. They needn’t have worried. Syd knocked on their door at 6:30 and was ready for the day. He really wanted to get back to Tempe and see his friends, and after breakfast they started off. 

Syd had said that he wanted to be a disciple of Jesus but now was looking for direction as to what that might mean. Lacey set the tone for their conversation by reminding him that being a disciple didn’t mean being the messiah. “Jesus has already taken care of that role,” she laughed. “All we have to do is figure out the particular mission that might be fitting for our gifts and inclinations. I’ve got an idea. I think it would be helpful, Syd, if Brad and I took some time to tell you our stories and describe how the Holy Spirit has worked in our lives to get us to this point.” That made sense to Syd and that’s how they spent the long drive back to Tempe.

Lacey began by describing her journey as the daughter of a single mom who worked as a music director and teacher. The congregation had become her family and her earliest memories revolved around faith and service. Since she had a captive audience and Syd was interested, she spared no details, even those related to her relationship with Brad. 

When it was Brad’s turn, Syd was amazed at how different their stories were. Brad had two parents, but rebelled against their involvement in church. Syd identified with his searching years at ASU–it was close to what he had done in San Francisco. When Brad told about his infatuation with Lacey, Syd nodded–he could understand that too. She was a pretty remarkable person. He asked if Brad had gotten interested in church again just because of Lacey, and if his interest had been spiritual or a deception to get her attention. Brad just laughed and said, “Who knows? I think God used her to get my attention…and it worked. I was most amazed that she could love me. At first I thought I might have been one of her “projects,” a good deed that she was doing to maybe rescue a fallen sinner, but she convinced me that her love was real. It was the happiest day of my life when we decided to be married. I still can’t believe how lucky I am.” Syd agreed with that, and they all laughed, with Lacey protesting that she was lucky too.

When Brad and Lacey were done, Lacey invited Syd to tell a bit of his story, as much as he was comfortable doing. Guided by their openness he did exactly that, filling them in on what he called his “sorry story.” He’d done a lot of experimenting with drugs in working through feelings and had finally turned to music as a more healthy way to cleanse himself of the pain that he’d felt from the abuse and neglect of his childhood. He said, “I was an angry kid, and I think that’s why I became a drummer. It gave me an excuse to hit things and take out my hostility. I actually got pretty good–but I’m not sure that’s the best route to being a disciple.”

By the time their stories were done they were back in Tempe and they dropped Syd off at the place where he had been staying. He had had some roommates and they had assured Lacey that Syd was welcome to return–and that they’d keep an eye on him. Lacey wasn’t so sure that was the best place for him, but there weren’t any other options at the moment. She was talked out and only wanted to go home to their own place with Brad.

The next night when Lacey returned to Mill Avenue for her weekly gathering Syd was already there. All the people who had been at his baptism were there too and they were so happy to see him. Chris had even written a new song to welcome him back and Syd took a long time to say thank you to everyone, and particularly to Lacey and Brad. He said, “The judge released me into Lacey’s custody, so I’m going to start calling her ‘mom.’” Lacey turned red at that and shook her head in a vehement “no way,” but he persisted, and pretty soon that’s what everyone was calling her. 

When they were back home Brad told her that he thought that was appropriate. “After all,” he said, “it’s natural for people to call their priests ‘father.’ The group can’t call you that, but I think they like thinking of you as ‘mom.’ Just roll with it. It probably won’t stick, and if it does, it’s not a bad thing.” He paused and added, “Just so you know, I’ll not be doing that!”

On Sunday Chris and Syd had come to worship at Crown and Cactus, and since people there knew what had taken place they’d gotten a warm welcome. Some of the choir members wondered if they were planning to get involved in the music program again. At the fellowship time people asked a lot of questions, but in this setting, Syd’s reticence had returned, and he mostly just smiled and gave short answers. He did search out Pastor Baldridge briefly, mostly because he wanted to see if he could get an appointment to talk about what it meant to be a disciple. He’d spoken to Brad and Lacey about it, but both of them had recommended that he talk to the pastor, and they were thrilled when they saw him do just that.

So Tuesday afternoon Pastor Baldridge drove to Tempe Town Lake Park and met up with Syd not too far from the paddle boat dock. Since it was a beautiful day they found a bench that afforded some privacy and settled down for a conversation. Pastor Baldridge asked a few questions related to Syd’s background and listened carefully as Syd gave a rather condensed version of his life to date. All the while he talked he was watching and taking the measure of Pastor Baldridge. He was pretty tuned in to phonies and was pleased to discover that this pastor wasn’t like some of those he’d known in the past. As he grew more comfortable he talked about his experiences in the Las Vegas jail and expressed appreciation for the chaplain’s visits and his gift of a bible. Pastor Baldridge was impressed by the progress Syd had made in his reading, and even more amazed by his insights. Syd had picked up on the similarities between his incarceration and Jesus’ time in the wilderness. They both laughed at the irony of having a Hell’s Angel as his protector.

Syd had wanted to talk about discipleship and Pastor Baldridge had come prepared to share some of his ideas. He said, “I think you probably have figured out from the gospels that being a disciple of Jesus is more than being a follower, and that it requires a high degree of commitment to the mission of Jesus. There’s a good deal of unconditional love involved and more than a little self-sacrifice. But what I’ve discovered is that as we adopt that life-style, we begin to experience great joy in daily living…and it’s really not a burden.”

As he listened Syd nodded in agreement, but then Pastor Baldridge saw a shadow fall over his face. He asked what Syd was feeling. Syd thought for a moment and then replied, “I think I get that, but as I’ve been reading the bible and then observing the way things are in the world, I’ve found it hard to deal with the inconsistencies.”

Pastor Baldridge asked for clarification and found that Syd had been profoundly influenced by the stories of the other prisoners he’d met in the jail. Some were just mean and dangerous, but most of them were more like victims of the system. They’d gotten on the wrong side of the police when they were kids and their problems had just escalated. And there was no one who seemed to care about helping them.

Syd said, “As I listened to them, I loved them, but I got angry too. And that surprised me. And since then I’ve realized that I’ve got a lot of anger inside, not only about things that have happened to me, but about the way poor people are treated. I’m wondering if those feelings might be improper for a disciple of Jesus.”

Pastor Baldbridge smiled and said, “I’m a little surprised that you feel that way, Syd. I’m sure you read about how Jesus reacted to some of the folks he encountered. In fact the story of his anger in the temple shows up in all four gospels. And that wasn’t the only time. He frequently got angry at the way the religious people excluded sinners and made a travesty of the law. And when he was angry he didn’t hold back at all.”

Now Syd smiled, “So you mean it’s okay for disciples to get angry too?”

“Absolutely,” Pastor Baldridge replied, “sometimes anger about the injustices in our world is expected of us! Not that we should be angry every time our feelings get hurt or we get cut off on the freeway, but a little righteous indignation is good for the soul.”

They talked for a long time that afternoon. Syd is trying to sort out the direction of his life and he’s anxious to get started on needed changes. Pastor Baldridge advised patience. “Life is long,” he said, “just keep meeting with your friends and checking open doors. The Spirit will use you, and before you know it you’ll be head over heels in ministry!”

That’s the word from Crown and Cactus Lutheran Church, where all the men are faithful, the women are committed, and the children are all growing in grace.